A Quick Slip of the Tongue
by LooLooTaroo
Summary: It seems Zolo takes the things Sanji says very seriously. Warnings: Maybe this isn't quite M...but better safe than sorry, eh? Language and some puh-retty clear sexual behavior


A Quick Slip of the Tongue

A calm afternoon on the Sunny-go was hard enough to come by. The normal raucous behavior of the large part of the crew, combined with the first snowfall they'd sailed through in months, had created a rambunctious and excited scene. There was no hope by the time Sanji pushed open the door with a tray held above his head. Three frantic heads snapped around at the sight of the cook, and his platter. Two steaming mugs of hot chocolate with marshmallows carved into tiny animals sat proudly on the snowflake doily that lined the tray.

At once he was assaulted from three directions.

"Sanjiiiiiiiii!"

"Oh! Oh! I want some!"

"Me, me, me! Pick me!"

A twirl to the left dodged Usopp, a kick in the face sent Luffy down the stairs, and one large step cleared him over Chopper. Calmly, the cook continued down the steps to where Nami sat, pink nose poking over her scarf.

"Nami! Nami my lo-"

"Sanji!" Luffy was back at his side, looking earnestly up at the platter. "One of those cups is for me, right?"

"No! Luffy it must be for me! I'm the weakest and I need the warmth!" Usopp's nasally voice cried down as he bolted toward the two.

"The marshmallows are so cute!" cried Chopper from where he'd crawled up onto Sanji's shoulders. He brought his tiny cloven hooves to his mouth in wonder. "Sanji, I must have a cup!"

"Chopper, how the hell did you-"

"Shuddup! It's mine!" Luffy's arms stretched out and reached for a cup, but a brutal kick sent them quickly flopping to the floor. With a jerk of his shoulder he'd dislodged Chopper, finishing the fluid motion with a turn and raising a foot into the air, freezing Usopp in his tracks as he ran his face right into Sanji's waiting shoe.

"No," he said calmly, turning again to Nami as Usopp flung his hands to his nose and wailed. Sanji clapped his hands together, a fervent smile spreading over his face. "Now! My beautiful little snow princess-"

 _Thuck!_

Sanji froze, the smile slowly dripping off his face like the scattered snow now dripping from his hair. Nami raised her eyebrows as the remnants of the snow ball fell onto Sanji's scarf.

"SANJI! I AM YOUR CAPTAIN!" Luffy shouted, his flip flops flinging snow behind him as he tore towards the platter. "AND I WANT COCO!"

"THIS IS WAR SANJI!" Usopp cried, running after Luffy and flailing his arms through the air.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" Chopper screamed, eyes squeezed shut as he joined the others in their mad rally against the cook.

Fixing a smile back upon his handsome face, Sanji turned to Nami, hands clasped again.

"One moment, Love."

A whirl of movement and screaming later, Usopp was on the ground flailing and giving muffled screams from under Sanji's shoe, Chopper was wrapped around Sanji's other leg, gnawing against the material, and through the tangle of rubbery limbs Sanji had his fingers full of Luffy's cheeks, pinching and stretching them as Luffy jerked his arms about.

"You stupid little rubbery-"

"Mmmhh!" Usopp let out a muffled wail, to which Sanji responded by grinding his shoe down.

"Gimme shum!" Luffy shouted against his distorted lips, hands flopping desperately for the cups.

"No!"

"Graaaar!" Chopper beat against Sanji's leg, still chewing mindlessly on his iron calf.

"That. Coco. Isn't. For. You!" Sanji spat out each word while he beat Luffy against the floor.

"I'm ja captin!" Freeing his legs, Luffy spun them both around, but despite knocking the cook down, he found himself in a headlock.

"Those cups are for Nami and Robin!"

"UUUUGH! Everything's always for the girls!"

"The marshmallows…" Chopper wailed, pulling at Sanji's shoe.

"Oh please, Luffy!" cried Usopp, staggering to his feet and rubbing his red, bent nose. "He doesn't care! He'd let us all die of dehydration if it meant watching Nami and Robin playing in our drinking water! All he cares about is ladies!" Usopp finished his declaration from a safe distance, pointing an accusing finger across the deck.

"Well, why?!" Luffy demanded, throwing his fists in the air wildly. "What's so special about girls?!"

"What did you just say?!"

"Oh dear," Robin's calm voice floated down the stairs as she made her way to the spare seat by Nami, "seems they're at it early this morning."

"Yeah, I'm not even commenting on this one." Nami opened her newspaper, gave Robin the articles on World News, and the two turned their attention away from the hysteria on deck.

"…and if you ever, EVER say anything ugly about-"

"Stupid girls, stupid girls, stupid girls!"

"Shut up Usopp I swear you're next!" Sanji screamed, shaking Luffy furiously by the vest as he wailed.

"Don't listen to him Luffy! Show him what for!"

"Pleeeaaaase make me coco Sanjiiiii! I could be a girl! Look at me, I'm so squeaky! I can be a girl, I can be a girl, you jerk!"

"Yeah, listen to Chopper, we could be girls!"

"Shuddup ya crap-freaks!" Sanji flung Luffy down. "That's an insult to the bea _u_ tiful girls on this ship!"

"No! I'm beautiful! Feed me!" Rubbery arms enclosed Sanji's legs as he turned and began forging through snow and human obstacles.

"Shuddup I said! How dare you compare yourself to the likes of Nami-chan or Robin-chan? You hideous creatures can starve!"

"See that? This is injustice! This is sexism! We've got rights!"

"Rights!" Cried Chopper.

"Sexism!" Cried Luffy.

"We're you're shipmates, and it's your duty to feed us! We want coco!"

"Shipmates!"

"Coco!"

"Clobber him, Luffy!" cried the sniper. "He just wants to give all the treats to the girls all day so he can suck up for kisses!"

"Kisses?" Luffy cocked his head, still being dragged slowly through the snow from his grip on Sanji's legs.

"That's right, womanizing fool! He wants to feed all the pretty girls because they can give him kisseeeeees!"

"Wow….I'll give him kisses for food!"

"Saaaanjiiii-hhiiii!" wailed Chopper, in his highest tone, "I'm a giiiiirl, like Nami and Robin! Make me coco and cookies!"

"I can give you kisses Sanji!" Luffy sprung through the air, wrapping his arms around the stunned blonde's shoulders. "Pucker-up!"

Over in a corner of the Sunny, Frankie looked up from his project, raising his goggles to watch his comrades. Shaking their heads, Brook returned to his violin and Frankie raised his hammer.

"GAH!" Sanji, face almost a blue color, got his hand between Luffy's lips and his own, and began desperately shoving the rubber man back. "Get away from me you little freak!"

"Oh Sanjiiiii, Sanjiiiiiiii!" squeaked Chopper, one hoof on his fuzzy hip, the other patting up the fur on his head. "I'm a giiiiiirl! Kiss me and give me candy!"

"Stop it!"

"Gimme kisshes!" cried the captain, lips still pursed against Sanji's palm.

"You're disgusting!"

"…I have my rights! I want some snacks! I want…"

"…oh Sanji, we lady reindeers are the best kissers…"

"…khisses Shanji…"

" _Knock it off_!"

A temporary silence filled the air as another tussle, and a devastating kick, left Luffy flat on his back and Chopper running for a safe place behind Usopp's legs. Sanji straightened up, breathing heavily.

"Listen up you little crap-freaks! None of 'ya are getting snacks until two,"

"…but Sanji I will dieeeee…."

"I fed you an hour ago!"

"Sanji…but…I am so kissable…"

"Oh please." With a pop of his collar Sanji shot a glare over his shoulder. "I ain't interested. I don't need my cooking to attract ladies. For God's sake, how desperate do you think I am? I _never_ kiss _boys_!"

On the other side of the deck, Zolo grunted in his sleep, and Frankie hammered on. Brooke played his violin, and as Sanji snatched his tray, with the now empty cups of coco, the chaotic life of the Straw Hat Pirates carried on. Grumbling the entire way back up the stairs, Sanji stopped at the entrance to the galley.

"And you're hideous women!" He shouted over his shoulder, slamming the door behind him.

Almost eleven hours later, with two more loud and rowdy meals, plus an almost violent snack time, the coco incident was completely forgotten. By most members of the crew.

Sanji stood by the sink, rinsing the last dish from dinner, breath coming out in small white puffs. The fire in the corner of the room was nothing more than glowing embers, leaving the room cold and dim. The chill was beginning to sink in, but Sanji hated relighting the fire before closing the kitchen. He set the last plate on the rack, hands going quickly into the towel by the sink. His footsteps filled the empty room as he set away his dishes, hung his towel, and locked the refrigerator. Sleepy hands tugged his damp, dirty apron loose, then in one fluid motion he removed it and reached to hang it on the hook by the door.

 _Need to get out another tomorrow, this one should be laundered…_

His tranquil thoughts were shattered when a hand came out of the darkness and locked around his own. Before thought, before sound, Sanji lashed out a kick, but it was intercepted instantly, a hand clutching his thigh and bringing down his leg before it could gather strength. He opened his mouth, but was silenced by a brutal shove that left him flat against the wall, the shout knocked out of his lungs from shock and force. And then his assailant was on him.

A huge, calloused hand slithering up his neck to burrow in his hair, a tall body overpowering his own, pressing up against him and forcing him into the unyielding wall, hot lips coming from the darkness and latching onto his throat. He was shoved again, knocking his skull back against the wood as a pair of strong hips ground down against his. Then the mouth moved higher; hot, powerful, forceful lips that were clearly laying stake to their claim.

Sanji gasped in surprise and relief, shaking arms wrapping around the shoulders of his aggressive lover, but he didn't slow, or even acknowledge Sanji's compliance. His tongue pushed through the opening Sanji had created, and began frantically mapping the insides of the cook's mouth.

"Mmm..mmm!" Sanji tried weakly to object, hands fluttering down between their bodies to push the other back, but the offending limbs were swatted away with a growl and another devouring kiss. The hand on his thigh released its death grip to run possessively up and down the length of Sanji's powerful legs. The hand grasped the back of Sanji's thigh, pulling it up and around the black clad hips, as his other arm came down to cradle his ass and hoist him from the ground. Sanji's mouth opened again in protest as he felt his feet leave the floor, but one leg was wrapped around a warm, rock hard hip, and the other was being cradled against the tall, beautiful body before him. He shuddered as the angry, forceful lips found his ear, and a hot tongue began flicking the pink, cold extremity.

Then the hand, the big, powerful hand, was sliding up his leg, running fingers across the tingling flesh. A long trailing swipe behind the knees, brushing over his thigh, settling for just a moment on his hips….before…

"Ah!" Sanji couldn't silence the cry, and felt his fingernails digging brutally into whatever inch of skin they'd settled on. His head fell back, striking the wall again as the well disciplined hand of his lover dipped between their bodies to press flat against the considerable bulge in his trousers.

"G-god…stop! Don… _don't_! Nnnh!" His eyes squeezed shut against the undignified groan that escaped his lips, turning his face abruptly away from the attentive lips as his cheeks flushed in embarrassment. Long fingers flexed to cup Sanji's burning erection, as the other hand squeezed and kneaded his ass.

"Ah, ah, AH!" Sanji's body felt like it was on fire as those hands played him, the burning, _aching_ heat pooling in his gut and banishing the cold from the room. Hungry teeth were attacking his neck, biting just a little too hard, leaving red marks across the pale expanse of his skin and eliciting soft gasps and cries from Sanji. The hand against his trousers was pushing too hard, palming roughly up and down the length of his throbbing member. Forced against the wall, demanding lips sucking bruises to life under his chin, being jerked off through his fucking clothes….

Sanji whimpered, head lolling. His ear was being attacked again, all teeth and tongue, and hot, hot breath. His vision was starting to blur, but through his haze, and the roar of blood in his ear, he could hear the dark voice pulling his attention back.

"What was that you said," Zolo whispered in his abused ear, voice rough and low, "about never,"

Sanji gasped desperately as those fingers cupped him again, squeezing his cock mercilessly. Oh yes, oh _god_ …He could feel it coming, his thighs were trembling…

"kissing,"

…the swordsman's hand went flat again, his palm continuing its maddening rub. Fast and hard, and it hurt, and he was moaning like a whore, but…gods…gods it was so good…

"boys?"

Those slow, clipped words, whispered like a sin, punctuated with burning kisses, maddening touches, and Zolo's glowing eyes. And then it was over. The hand was gone, the heat was gone, the overpowering, suffocating kisses….Sanji gasped, body lurching forward as his feet hit the ground and his support vanished into the darkness.

"Wa-" Sanji just saw Zolo's back as he disappeared, somehow leaving as quietly and as quickly as he'd come. Sanji stood just a moment, panting into the emptiness, then his legs gave out and he was back against the wall, slowly slipping down to rest on the floor. Shaking arms reached out and wrapped around his knees, slowly and carefully brought up around his aching erection. He heard a tiny creak, just the tiniest creek of a floorboard and knew Zolo had just stepped out onto the deck. Sanji sat quietly a moment more, alone in the cold, then slowly set his palm down on the floor and tried to rise. His heart beat had steadied, his cheeks were beginning to cool, but his legs still shook and his back still shivered. At last Sanji stood with a whimper, supporting himself with a hand on the wall as he began a slow agonizing walk away from his kitchen and to his waiting lover. He knew Zolo well, and knew this would be no gentle tussle in a hammock. No, he'd make him suffer, make him beg. Sanji snorted at that, another step jostling his tortured member. Wouldn't take very long tonight.


End file.
